mom day

My plan for Mother's Day was to connect with our primal mother, Mother Earth, by spending the day planting my vegetable garden and setting up our new compost tumbler and worm bin. Yet perhaps our "primal mother" had another plan for me as my so-called allergies, which have been heightened this week do to increased pollen, seemed to develop into a major head cold. I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck with tons of sinus pressure and congestion - my husband surprised me with breakfast in bed to which I replied in my stuffed-up voice, "urgh, I don't want anything." Later I felt bad for my foul mood. So I neti-potted (for those that don't know about the amazing way to clear your nasal passages, check it out here) and felt better, and after putting Eddie down for his morning nap, I rolled up my sleeves to hit the garden. After turning the soil and preparing the "canvas" for my veggies, I only got 1 onion plant planted before Eddie woke up and I had to stop. I stood up and almost fainted. My whole body ached and I soon realized that I wasn't just suffering from severe seasonal allergies but rather had a cold/flu.

All week I have been paranoid that little Eddie was going to get sick because we had a playdate on Monday with two kids that had runny noses and were on the last days of a cold with fever. I probably should of bowed out of the playdate, but I had already canceled once so I felt like we had to see through the commitment. And so all week any time Eddie awoke in the night I went to him to make sure that he didn't have a fever. On Friday night I was confident that he was coming down with something because he was inconsolable after unsuccessfully going down for bed at 7:30 p.m. - he awoke at 8:30 and would not go back to sleep. But no fever. And we rationalized through it all that he is just growing up and getting too smart and now knows that if he cries I come to get him; he was testing me and it worked. So we might be back to the drawing board with having to let him cry it out a bit so he can fall asleep unassisted.

Anyway, here I am with my head cold, the most sick I have felt since becoming a Mom. All my body wants me to do is rest and sleep, and yet Mom's cannot rest. Surprising I cannot nap...I am compelled to wash the floors, do laundry and make baby food...I am in high-gear Mom mode. This is perhaps one of the more interesting things that has happened to me as a result of becoming a Mom - I suddenly actually like doing housework. I am motivated to keep a relatively clean home, especially for my crawling baby, and to prepare dinner every night no matter how awful and tired I feel - having a family has heightened all of my natural instincts to nurture. And it is in this light I think that becoming sick with this cold/flu is a positive thing - it is nature's way of protecting little Eddie from getting sick instead. Because I am breastfeeding, antibodies that fight off illnesses are passed from me to Eddie. I believe that I got sick from the snotty-nosed kids we played with on Monday instead of Eddie. I believe this because I am a Mother now and I will do anything to protect my child...even when it involves my own discomfort.