hockey on the pond

Check out this video of Eddie and his Dad playing hockey on the pond behind my parents' house. This was undoubtedly the highlight of our Christmas. It almost brought tears to my eyes to watch them every morning as they rode down the hill in the sled with Dad's skates and then laced up and hit the ice. E4 loved being on the ice and also sledding...and of course the hot cocoa that awaited them when they came inside.

ho ho

This is Eddie's new phrase of the moment: "ho ho." He says it anytime he sees something related to Christmas, as in Santa, a tree or any holiday decor really. He is obsessed with the holiday specials, especially Shrek the Halls and Prep and Landing. We have already watched Prep and Landing 4 times today. He just keeps saying "more, more."

first haircut

I cut a few locks from Eddie's hair tonight while in the tub. Crazy that at 27 months he still does not need a proper haircut. But it was time to cut off some of the overgrown whispy ends that were getting too long in the back, specifically right by the ears. After the third little snip he grabbed his head and said "No!" He likes his hockey hair the way it is.

our thanksgiving weekend

The long holiday weekend in Wisconsin felt extra long for a still nauseous prego me, but E4 seemed to really enjoy himself from Thanksgiving at the Wennings and playing with all of cousin Sophie's toys, swimming in the hotel pool, wrestling with his cousin Noah and getting his first real hockey stick. Here are some photos:

The kids and their kids


Eddie and Noah playing "bumper" strollers


Mom and Dad (and Baby A and Baby B!)


Playing outside


The cutting down of his first real hockey stick (which I am told is akin to circumcision; a.k.a. a big deal)


Playing street hockey

new obsession

Eddie is obsessed with babies these days, pointing out babies he sees everywhere and constantly pointing to mom's belly and saying "baby." After he saw my ultrasound images, he made this drawing which he proudly points to and says "baby," "baby" and "mom."

pre-school

I don't know what it is like in other cities, but in Chicago the pre-school application process is akin to college admissions. Some parents even begin the process with baby still in utero. The tours start in the Fall and decisions are made in the following February/March. I have a headache just thinking about it all, after my third school tour and open house this morning. In 2011 Eddie will turn 3 right before the cut off; children who turn 3 by September 1 are eligible for pre-school. Which means he will be one of the youngest ones. And I worry that he will not be ready, especially as a boy, and as a boy who is speech delayed (note, we start speech therapy the week after Thanksgiving). But I want him in some sort of school setting, partially for me because I will be at home with twins and also for him, socially. We have actually made the costly decision to start him in a 2 year old "school" program that is two days a week, starting in January...so maybe he will be well adjusted, potty-trained and all by the time he is three. Anyway, back to the pre-school application process. Our neighborhood school, a Chicago Public School called Audubon, is very good; considered one of the top 10 CPS elementary schools in the city. And we are on the list there; preference is given to siblings of current attending families, then to 4 year olds and then to neighborhood. So it would be ideal if we got one of the 24 spots. But we are also strongly considering moving; our house is just too small for 3 little ones. And so then that option may go out the window. So I have toured 2 of the Catholic schools in the neighborhood and considering touring one more, which is not so close to us or remotely close to where we will probably move, but it is our parish and where Eddie got baptised, so we will have some advantage to getting in there. Today I toured a private school that is known for its strong community involvement and small class size; I was exposed to it when I was working with Organic School Project and they asked us to help them with their lunch program. I thought it was a good school that was under the radar...but as I walked into a room filled with big diamonds and suits, numbering probably close to 100, I realized that this school is definitely on people's radar and it will be highly competitive to get into the newly opening pre-school with 14 spots for 4 year olds and 14 spots for 3 year olds. I talked with several parents and most have applied to at least 10 other schools. Yikes!

I want to find the ideal environment for Eddie; a school that has good outdoor space and daily recess for longer than 10 minutes, and attentive, caring teachers with the ability to service his needs, assuming that because of his language delay he will be classified as special needs. I like the schools that address readiness and skills through an inclusive process, meaning that if kids are slow readers they are not pulled out of the classroom or signaled out in an overt way, but that they are helped sufficiently within the classroom and are able to participate in regular classtime with their peers. Surprisingly, many of the schools do this now and provide a very individualized education, catered to that child's skill level. I find myself getting wrapped up in the process, asking tons of questions and intently observing the students and teachers to get a feel for the school. I guess this happens for anyone who valued their education as much as I did. Crazy though that Eddie is only two, still in diapers and only saying about 20 or so words, and here I am imagining him as an eighth grader with a locker and a cell phone. Am I ready for this?

my babies

I think I am destined to have two more boys (Sorry Grandmas). We won't officially find out the sex until December 20, but right now my gut is telling me that there are a couple of dudes in there. Literally, my stomach is in overdrive and I am constantly hungry and feeling like I am feeding a small army. Last night I awoke at 3 a.m. starved and consumed a bagel with cream cheese, 3 slices of pizza, a piece of pumpkin pie and some Terra chips; it was not all in one sitting but between the hours of 3 and 5. The unfortunate part about it was that after eating one thing I would return to bed, thinking my stomach was full enough, but then was unable to fall sleep because of the continual churning, indicating that I had to eat more. I woke up at 7 a.m. starved yet again. Despite attempting to consume as many calories as possible, a couple hours ago, after eating string cheese, I threw up. Note to self: chew your cheese better. That one hurt. Man. The funny thing was that for the first time, Eddie walked in on me throwing up. He didn't seem wierded out by it at all. He just repeatedly flushed the toilet and then lifted the lid, as if to check that everything went away. I have to admit that he has been a trooper throughout this ugly first stage of pregnancy. Many mornings I just lie on the couch and he plays around me, totally entertaining himself. He seems to understand.

I know this blog is supposed to be about everything Eddie, and of course, here I am writing about myself and the next arrival. So this brings to surface a question I am asking myself, what to do about the blog? I doubt I will have much time to blog about twins, but I want to give them their own records. It is only fair. I say this as the second born with an empty baby book and lack of any records indicating my early development other than my mother's memory, which thankfully is rather astute. Since the URL is "babywashuk" maybe I should just convert the blog to be about all of our babies? Thoughts?

ER

We made our first trip to the Children's' Memorial Hospital Emergency Room on Friday night. Eddie came down with a cold on Wednesday and on Friday morning it had settled into his chest and he was wheezing. Now this has happened in the past when he gets a cold, but it usually doesn't seem to bother him too much and it goes away in a day. But on Friday he was not himself, almost lifeless. By the afternoon he could hardly walk and would collapse to the floor and just lie there attempting to play. When Eddie got home from work we went to the ER, at the urging of our pediatrician. Because of his severe oxygen obstruction (triage classified it as a "code red" which is the most serious!) he had to receive three breathing treatments and a dose of the oral steroid Prednisone. The breathing treatments entailed pinning him down and placing a mask on his face so that he could inhale the albutural for up to 10 minutes. He screamed and thrashed the whole ten minutes and all three times. It was the hardest thing we have ever been through with him. At one moment during the second treatment I teared up, remembering the days of colic and holding him as he screamed in pain and feeling so helpless. This was a close second to that agony; the difference was that after the 10 minutes of hell, he would light up and was all playful and talkative. The drugs do make him a tad hyper, which is an expected side effect. We were there from 6 p.m. - 11 p.m. and all in all, it was not too bad. Eddie did very well just sitting there between the treatments, reading books and playing with his choo-choos. it was almost reminiscent of being on an airplane, as we of course did not want him walking around and exploring. He is still taking an inhaler version of the albutural and the oral steroid, which I am a tad skeptical about, being a naturalist. But breathing is the most important. Hopefully this is just something that we will have to monitor when he gets colds and it won't develop into full-blown asthma...I don't think I could handle regular episodes of pinning him down to administer doses of medicine. I feel like he was sort of traumatized by it too because he did not sleep well at all the two nights afterward; he woke up five times on Saturday night and was all out of sorts, even still screaming after I picked him up and sat in the chair with him. Poor guy :(

Reflections of Motherhood

This was shared by a Mom group I am in...thought I would share it with my blog readers. My card would read "Surrender." But I also like the ones that say: "Imperfect is the new perfect," "You are the Expert" and "Millions of parents have survived sleep deprivation."

seasons

Summer is officially over. The under-ripened tomatoes still hang on the vine and shiver with every gust of cool Autumn air. The jackets have been brought out and the swimsuits and shorts are put away. We tried on a couple of hats yesterday and realized that Eddie's head has undoubtedly grown and it is time to make some seasonal purchases. I finally posted some summer photos in the side panel/slideshow panel of the blog, and I feel sort of sad as they whisk by; fleeting moments of our last summer as just the three of us (well, and Marty, of course makes four). This is perhaps the most sadness I feel when I think about the arrival of two more...that our special little family is going to change so dramatically and that the life that Eddie is so comfortable with is going to be forever altered. Despite how tired and nauseous I feel now, my goal is to really savor these next six months with my little boy...to savor this Fall and Winter like never before: carve pumpkins, pick apples, bake cookies, build snowmen, throw snowballs, chase bunnies that live under our deck and just surrender to his every wild, boyish desire. Because come Spring, more than just the seasons will change.

big brother

I knew there was a reason I was waiting to write this post. Well, we went to the doctor today and confirmed that yes, we are pregnant and yes, Eddie is going to be a big brother. But as the screen on the ultrasound lit up my uterus we saw something totally unexpected: two fetuses....yes, we are having twins! Identical twins. The odds are .2%, according to my doctor. Crazy, just pure crazy. The due date is May 4, but odds are likely that they will arrive much much earlier than that. We are still in shock and so many thoughts and emotions are rushing through me - excitement, fear and a bit of sadness because this will be a major adjustment for our little Bomby. We have started talking about how there is a baby in Mommy's belly...but now to explain that there are two? I look for guidance, for support, for suggestions because I feel like I am entering a whole new territory when it comes to birth and parenting. Twins.

a femivore finding her tribe

I came across a term recently that seemed to fit me to a tee: femivore - a highly educated woman who chooses to stay home and raise the kids, along with a vegetable garden and often chickens. It's the newest form of feminism which aims to take control of one's carbon footprint while providing a healthy, sustainable lifestyle for your family. In Chicago, despite a popular green farmers market and rampant support for bicyclists, I tend to find myself a tad alone when it comes to my natural mothering lifestyle choices, most notably the fact that I still nurse my two year old and go to him throughout the night. I have always felt comfortable amongst our social circles and family, and never felt as though I had to defend my parenting style; well, until recently when a visit from a college friend turned into a full-blown discussion on attachment parenting, the life of stay-at-home mom (which she seemed to view as depressing and I find liberating) and my own manifesto in defense of nursing a toddler. And so I have joined two new mom support groups, La Leche League and Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS). Both are international organizations, the former with an emphasis on breastfeeding support and the latter with a more broad focus on parenting. I also like both groups for the fact that the meetings are in the morning and kids are welcome, allowing Eddie good opportunities to play with other kids. Actually, at one point I would have said that I was joining these groups for him...to broader our social circles..."our" meaning my son and I, and ultimately meaning that I am still searching for consistent playmates for my budding socialite. But now after attending this first session of La Leche today, I am starting to realize that these groups are genuinely for me, for me to "find my tribe," a term that is thrown around amongst these groups that means to find a supportive community of women (based on Jean Liedloff's book "The Continuum Concept" and expanded by Teresa Pitman in the article here ).

This La Leche meeting was a hoot - unique, I think, and special in so many ways and filled with the intensity that only breastfed children seem to exempt regardless of age as they explore their world with passion and then run to mommy for comfort. My Eddie fit right in, and actually was a sort of a trouble-maker/ring-leader with the toys. At one point he was banging together two plastic bowling pins, then swinging one like a bat and shortly thereafter I saw three other kids mimicking him. But the real scene was all the breastfeeding amongst women trying to having a serious conversation (about weaning of all things!) while watching and gently disciplining their children. Jealous of the mothers' of newborns were we who found ourselves on the floor to stop our kids from fighting over toys. At various moments throughout the hour long session I observed the leader of the group with both children attached to her bosoms - one had to be 3 and the other was 1 1/2. The three year old stood up while sucking away at her mom, while the younger boy squirmed to and fro on the other nipple. Wow. This was tandem nursing in full force. All the while their mother remained calm and collected as she moderated a discussion. It was obvious by the discussion and by what I was witnessing (and partaking in, as Eddie had to have him "num nums" too!), that no one here had any genuine experience with weaning. Oh well.

I left feeling exhausted, but empowered. I reconnected with a friend of a friend. I borrowed two books, one entitled "How Weaning Happens." And as we made our way outside and Eddie ran off for the nearest mud puddle, I was invited to join another group, a nature group, that schedules play dates in neat outdoor places, and to attend a "chickenpox party," hailed as the natural way to give your kid the chicken pox so they don't have to get the vaccine. Hmmm. I just may have found my tribe.

hand holding

Six months ago I never thought I would be able to write this, but Eddie is a total hand holder now. He used to want to go everywhere independently and would take off in ferocious intesity to explore new territory. Now, he is more reluctant, even more tentative and really likes to hold our hands. The other day we walked over to a friend's house and he held my hand the whole way. He will actually stop before we cross the street and reach up for my hand. I love it.

birthday bash

We are still in recovery mode from Eddie's 2nd birthday held on Saturday. 17 kids ranging in ages from 5 months to 8 years old, and 20-some adults were here to celebrate with our guy. I spent most of the time in the kitchen, as usual, so I didn't get to witness all the craziness, but I heard that Eddie was profusely drinking water out of his new water table, fighting over various balls and trying to steal other kids' juice boxes. Nice. At one point he was in the house and had a full-on breakdown because he wanted his friend Gabriel's toy motorcycle. I pulled him away and took him into the living room where his presents where stacked, and said, Eddie, look, all these gifts are for you. And he replied with an "oooh." It is one of his new sort of words, and he was "oooh"ing and "wow"ing all day and over the course of the next four days as we opened all the gifts slowly. He definitely had fun playing with the mix of neighborhood friends and friends of mom and dad; of course cousin Noah was present and in full playing force too. But he did seem overwhelmed. At one point he was just sitting on his Uncle Mike's lap, watching. When it came to cake time he didn't have much interest in blowing out the candle or really even eating the cake, as he was taken with mom's homemade cookies. The day ended with our annual balloon release. And alas, two mornings later Eddie woke up with the sniffles and now has a cold. Too much partying, I guess!

two

It's 2:34 as I start to type. Two years ago at this time I was climbing out of the supersized, 98 degree whirlpool tub in the hospital room at Prentice and getting into the bed to push...an exciting yet awkward feeling that was accompanied with some nausea, anxiety and simultaneous gratitude for all the amazing support I had in the room. Today I still have some of those emotions when I reflect upon the last year of E4's life. Nausea I suppose the least, but sort of appropriate because we are still battling with sleep deprivation from our continued night waking...but it has gotten way better in the last two weeks. Ever since our travels have ceased and our routines are back on track, Eddie has been either sleeping through the night or only waking up once. Praise the Lord. Another huge sleep achievement, in my opinion, is that he is finally waking up and not crying or whining, but rather now when he wakes up he will start to talk and play...this is music to my ears.

Anxiety is still an emotion I naturally feel as a mother because there is always something to be concerned about when it comes to your child/ren. Although I am the most stable and at ease right now in my life than ever before...and I attribute most of that to my happy son (and of course his loving father), there is still much I worry about regarding Eddie's development, namely his verbal skills. Although he has progressed, he is probably more akin with an 18 month old's level of speech. Words like "shoe," "baby," "hot," and "stuck" are now part of his vocabulary, and he makes noises for some words like "ooo-ooo-ooo" for a monkey (namely Curious George) and "choo-choo" for a train, but he does not pronounce many consonants so words like "ball" are still absent of any "ll"s and much of his talk is unrecognizable babble. Many kids his age are now talking in simple sentences and combining nouns, adjectives and verbs. So I inevitably feel like he is behind...and that he will forever be my baby. He still seems like a baby to me in so many ways - he still nurses a ton, he still sleeps in a crib and he still wears diapers. These are things that I know some kids have grown out of already before the age of two, so I just feel like we have a long way to go yet and that this next year is going to be a busy one!

Eddie has made huge strides this year in his gross motor and athletic skills, and I guess these are the traits that most people recognize in him to be advanced. He can swing a real golf club, he can swing a bat and hit a ball consistently off a tee, he can kick and dribble a soccer ball, he can shoot hoops, both slam dunk and jump shot and he throws a mean, lefty, fast ball, complete with a leg pump. These are things that my husband is extremely proud of, of course. We have a genuine athlete on our hands. Other than sports, Eddie is also "in"to playing with cars and trucks, playing with and pointing out all trains, riding his bike (although he hasn't gotten the hang of pedaling quite yet), watching Sesame Street, particularly Elmo, going for walks in the neighborhood (which rarely consists of a stroller these days since he just wants to walk and run freely) and playing with other kids. You should see the excited look on his face when he runs out to the front of our house and hears or sees other kids playing in the neighborhood. Some of the most pure joy I have witnessed in him has been during moments of playing with his friends and cousins. He still loves to eat and has mastered eating with a spoon and a fork and sits at our table on a grown-up chair. He is quite well mannered. He wipes his mouth with a napkin when complete. His favorite foods at this point seem to be corn, blueberries, peaches, salmon, anything growing in our garden and any meat off the bone - he loves lamb chops and chicken legs. He is genuinely a decisive, seasonal eater with a discerning palate (yes, I am so proud!). For example, although normally he loves corn on the cobb (he even eats it raw as we shuck it), one time we had a bad batch from the store and he would not finish his. It was too funny. He hardly eats tomatoes in the winter; now that they are in-season, he pops them in his mouth like candy.

Gratitude. I am grateful for my husband, most of all. He is my rock, my sounding board and dedicated life partner. He always makes me feel like I am the best mother and wife in the world, and this is important, especially when you are a stay-home mom with nothing else to shift your focus to. I am grateful for my Bomby, my Totty, my Cuddlebug. Happy is the way we start every morning and end every day. He is an experienced, seasoned soul, someone who has walked this Earth before and proceeds with slight caution and decisive,captivated focus. His intensity burns from the inside out. His humor is like a seed still germinating. He will bring joy to so many. He will work hard and with great focus. I am certain that amazing things are yet to come from my son.

more images

summertime

Summertime means spending more time outdoors...hence no blogging. We have been busy with trips, first to LA, then to Maine and most recently to Appleton and Milwaukee, WI. We have swam in oceans, lakes and pools. We have devoured corn on the cob, steamer clams, lobster and fruit galore. We have gone for boat rides, rode a jet ski and took a ferry. We have danced at weddings, played with old friends and reunited with family and extended family. We have been to Old Orchard Beach where we rode a carousel, the Milwaukee Zoo where we saw hippos and elephants and giraffe, and the State Fair where we went down the big slide and ate a cream puff. Ahhh, too much fun and not enough time to capture it all in writing. Here are some highlights:

on having two under two

Last weekend we willingly took on the pleasurable task of babysitting my nephew Noah while my sister and her husband wine-d in Napa and attended a wedding. The first two days were great because Noah slept through the night, and it was nice for Eddie to have a constant playmate. The TV never had to be turned on. They were too busy chasing each other through the house, pounding on the door to go outside and simply put, eating and pooping. There was one day where I swear they were tandem pooping; Noah had 4, Eddie 2. I felt like I was constantly either feeding them or changing diapers. And thank god for having a dog to help clean up all the meal messes. Noah is truly a messy eater; I never realized how good of an eater, both in terms of what is consumed and how it is consumed, Eddie was/is until I spent 4 full days with Noah. By day three, we were all a bit exhausted though. Noah had a rough night of sleep due to some arriving molars, and he became very clingy on me; he would only be held or changed or put to be by me. And that seemed to make little Eddie need me even more too. At one moment between the two boys and my needy dog Mara, I felt like I needed to have two more arms as my husband stood back laughing at the spectacle on the couch of Eddie nursing, Noah being fed a bottle and Mara cuddled up next to us. It feels good to be needed so much...but having two kids, especially two boys, under the age of two is not something I would wish upon anyone. It is seriously draining, and the only thing that gets you through it are those precious moments of child independence and tandem giggling during play.

sprinkler fun

Check out this footage of my guys from last weekend while we watched Noah:

LA man

We traveled to Los Angeles over the weekend to attend Uncle Charlie Washuk's wedding to Catherine Kucher and to baptize their 3 1/2 month old son Alex. Leading up to the trip Eddie came down with a wicked cold - started with the eye drainage on Father's Day which was diagnosed as official "pink eye" and had to take drops, and then progressed into major congestion, snot and cough. So needless to say, I was a bit worried about our travels. But Eddie did so awesome. It is evident that he is way more adaptable and more go-with-the-flow than his mother. On both flights he slept for an hour and a half, sat well in our laps, reading books and playing with cars, ate snacks, played with the headphone and only once did he request to walk up and down the aisle. We didn't even have to bust out the laptop and the Cars DVD. When we arrived at the hotel room I was immediately uneasy about its lack of a tub (only shower) since our nightly bath routine would have to be modified, and the "crib" I had ordered was really just a pack n' play. I think I said three times, "I should have just brought our own," worried that he would not sleep well in the hard, foreign beddy. But he did fine. I was also stressed about the scheduling of all the activities and how it would coordinate with his sleep schedule. But he proved that he can fall asleep in the car for a nap and still function as a delightful, entertaining little guy. We had a busy, fun-filled weekend of wedding activities, Alex's baptism and BBQ, then a trip to a pool party in the Hills. Eddie was lovin' the LA weather (cool 70's and sun every day) and the laid back lifestyle. Thanks for Katie and Charlie for carting us around all weekend and for all the fun! All the photos are posted on my Facebook page.

thank god for involved dads

Well, there haven't been many blog posts lately because everyone, except our rock solid, charged immune-system Dad, is under the weather. I suppose this is my delayed Father's day post, delayed because I have been sick. I had septoplasty surgery to correct my nose's deviated septum last Friday and my recovery has taken longer than expected, mostly due to inadequate sleep and then because two days ago I came down with some viral cold/flu. Eddie hasn't been sleeping well either lately and on Saturday evening we discovered why - he was coming down with something too. He had 100 degree fever and this heavy eye drainage that leaves the eye lashes crusty and causes yellow boogers in the corner of the eyes. He is doing much better today. Even Marty doesn't seem well and has had diarrhea a couple of times. So with everyone under the weather we all need a little support, and I am so lucky to have that kind of support from my husband. One morning while I was still recovering from my surgery, he made breakfast of eggs and bacon, and I must admit that his was as good as mine! He has been helping out tremendously with childcare, playing with Eddie and taking him out of house so I can get some rest. My own father was not around much during the week when we were kids - he just worked so many hours. I don't know how my Mom did it...I think about this every day around 4 p.m. when my husband walks through the door and relives me, reviving both Eddie and I. My Mom was lucky if my Dad was home before we went to bed. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have help five days out of the week. Yesterday I was feeling so awful and lamenting at how dirty the house was and how I was too ill to make dinner and my husband said , "forget about it. we are going to order out for dinner, put Eddie to bed and then relax and go to bed early." This was so perfect and exactly what I needed to hear. So I am thankful for involved Dads...thank you to all the Dads who change the diapers, prepare the baths, serve the snacks and most importantly, play with their kids. Nothing makes a Mom smile more than watching her husband play and laugh with her baby.

accident prone

For the sake of record keeping, I have to report on Eddie's recent accidents. A month ago he fell and cut his bottom lip pretty bad, although the bleeding stopped quickly and he hardly cried. His Dad was out of town and so I sought the second opinion of my neighbors, whom all concluded that he was fine and it should heal on its own with no need for stitches. It did and they were right. This week he fell at the park and escaped with no cuts or scrapes but has been limping, especially when barefoot, for six days now. He can put pressure on both legs, can walk and run and is showing no signs of any pain, no swelling, no bruising. And most people who see him move think that it hardly warrants a trip to the doctor, but as the mother, I am still concerned. His gait is definitely affected even though his confidence and activity level isn't. Last night while eating dinner he fell off the chair. He was throwing his food (which I hope is not a new habit) and propelled himself off the chair. The wind seemed knocked out of him, but other than that, no injuries.

body b

Check out Eddie's bicep muscle as he dives into his pool!

("body b" is something his dad says...it means body beautiful...probably from a movie or something)

kodak moments

Our camera has been in the shop for over 4 weeks now and I am missing it. It fell off the couch and the lens popped off and wouldn't go back on. There have been some special moments over these past weeks that I wish I was able to capture; luckily, our handheld digital still works, but it is not the same as our Nikon SLR. There was the afternoon we played outside with the neighborhood kids and the older boys took Eddie for a high speed wagon ride. He was in seventh heaven. There was Eddie's first romp through the sprinkler, which he loved, and the first dip in the pool (yesterday). There have been many special moments between Eddie and his cousin Noah lately. The other night they were both "playin in the kitchen," as I call it (from one of our music class songs). They were banging pots and pans and hitting the wall with measuring spoons. Oh, there are so many moments that you just cannot capture on film. Like when Noah pointed at Eddie and then Eddie responded by touching Noah's finger, ala ET. And when Eddie was outside on the deck and Noah was inside and they were pressed against the screen giving each other kisses. The camera also wasn't there when we picked our first ripe strawberry from the garden and ate it together, Eddie stuffing the remainder of it in his mouth, along with its leafy top. Nor did I have it on hand when we baked chocolate chip cookies together and Eddie really dove into the flour, proudly covering himself with white dust. Sometimes you just cannot grab the camera quick enough and the moment is lost, except in your memory...perhaps these are the true kodak moments.

how boys play

A recent trip to Family Grounds, a drop-in play space by our house, reminded me of how different boys and girls truly are. Six boys (including my Eddie), ages ranging from 18 months to 3 1/2, huddled around a train table in silence. Well except for the occassional vroom or hum or choo-choo. These boys played with the trains, hardly interacting with each other, other than the occasional shove or snatching of another's train. The girls, there were few that day, were parading around in feather boas and chatting about their babies. Wow. The gender roles are so engrained at such a young age. And the verbalization of the sexes differs so much too. Again yesterday I marveled as my Eddie played alongside of his neighborhood friends - three other boys ages 3, 5 and 7, and they built train tracks on the sidewalk in silence. For a whole hour. Intensity was there though.

mama's day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms reading this! My second Mother's Day has come and gone, and this year I am feeling a bit more emotional. Maybe it's because being a Mom is hard work, filled with sleepless nights and constant testing of patience. Maybe it's because my guy got a 100.7 degree fever half way through the day. Maybe it's because the day just didn't go as I had imagined in my head...but they really never do once you have kids, do they? A friend of mine says that her motto is "adjust we must," and she announces this every time things run amuck and plans must get shifted. This is so true. Being agile and making adjustments is a major part of being a Mom. So when your 20 month old suddenly seems unsocial and sleepy, you put him down for a nap, even though company is over and you are in the midst of flipping pancakes. And when he still seems sleepy later in the day, you put him down for another nap even though he hasn't taken two naps for months and you were planning on visiting friends. Last year on Mother's Day I was sick. This year my Bomby is sick, and clings to me, reaches for me saying "mama, mama."

zoo, ice cream

Eddie had a busy week, despite still recovering from cold number six of the season (hopefully the last). It was such a beautiful week of spring weather that on Tuesday we went to the Lincoln Park Zoo, finally. We became members for the year, which means free parking passes, which is a huge incentive. We arrived early, shortly after 9 a.m. and it was perfect because it wasn't crowded at all except for several other babies and toddlers in strollers. Eddie seemed to like the tiger and other felines the best. His new word is "see" and he says it as he points to things. He was saying "see!" a lot as he noticed all the animals. He didn't seem freaked out at all, which for some reason I thought he would be. I also thought he would be really into the gorillas and various monkeys, but he wasn't. He was more into all the other kids at the zoo and climbing on things with them. He also loved running over all the hills and ramps and manhole covers. We ate our picnic lunch amongst ducks, geese, seagulls and sparrows, whom were all way too assertive in their quest for food.






His other "first" this week was ice cream. Actually he had frozen custard from Scooter's, which is Chicago's only custard stand (frozen custard is BIG in Wisconsin but not really anywhere else). He liked the vanilla which I fed him from my bowl and said "mmm." But he loved his Dad's chocolate cone even more; whined when it was all gone.

farmer's hours

Eddie is on farmer's hours these days - goes down with the sun around 8 p.m. and wakes up with the sun, sometime between 5:30 - 6 a.m. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't still waking up throughout the night. Where does his energy, his lust for life come from? I wish I had some.

little daredevil

The beauty of childhood - no fear. Eddie's latest activity is trying to figure out how to jump. He likes to stand on the arm of the sofa and then dive into the cushions squeling with delight. But he also tries to jump off the couch onto the floor and tumbles down carelessly. The other day I caught him doing his squatting, pre-jump wind up on the stairs and had to instruct him not to practice his jumping on the stairs. We have a wild one here!

bye bye and ball

I was very proud of my son this weekend. As we were leaving our friends' house and were saying goodbye, Eddie waved bye bye. I know this is something that a lot of babies do way early, girls even at 10 months, but for Eddie this is a huge milestone. For the longest time I have been trying to get him to wave goodbye to people as they leave our house and he often will do nothing but smile until they actually leave. Once they have left he will often go to the window and stand on the chair to watch them and then wave, long after they have departed. So I knew that he could wave his hand, but was just waiting for him to do it at the appropriate time. I gave up several months ago. And then, bam, suddenly he just did it. He is totally this way about everything - he does things when HE wants to and at his own pace.

This is the sentiment I have been feeling about his language skills too. I called the pediatrician this week and left a message saying that I was still concerned as there had been no progress over the past two months in his speaking. And then suddenly this weekend he just seemed to bloom like a little flower. He is now saying "ball," even though the "l"s are sort of silent. He is not the type to just yell out the word when he sees it, but if you point to a ball or a picture of a ball and ask him "what's that?" he will say boisterously "BALL!" He is babbling even more now and making a lot of new sounds. He is becoming more emphatic with his "dada," "mama," "no," "oh no" and "yeah." And he is pointing to everything and showcasing that he knows what so many things are. For example, he will point to the lights on his trucks and then point up to the lights in the ceiling, as he utters sounds and looks with bright eyes for affirmation.

first popsicle

Eddie had his first popsicle last week and repeatedly made the "mmm" sound he does to indicate when something is good.

outside

It's 7 a.m. and 45 degrees and we are outside. Eddie loves to play outside and these days it feels like the only breaks he takes is to come in and eat, and even then sometimes we cannot pull him away. He practices his golf swing, attempts to ride his tricycle and likes to find rocks and other objects to throw. Our neighbors gave us their old slide and swing set, and he likes to go down the slide over and over again.

terrible

Eddie is officially in his "terrible twos" stage. His Dad said this a few weeks ago. If "terrible twos" is characterized by extreme emotional outbursts of expression that usually culminate in throwing oneself on the floor, throwing of objects in a fit of rage and general menace-like behavior, than yes, Eddie is in his terrible twos. The collapsing to the floor occurs really anytime he wants something and is refused, or if you go to try to pick him up to remove him from a situation and he wants to remain in his troubling endeavor, then he will become boneless and collapse in a whiny fit. Of course he loves to throw balls, but he also will throw something when upset, as in on the changing table, which he hates more than anything. As he tries to scoot off of it backwards, he will throw lotions and such at our heads. And of course he loves to throw his food now. I didn't realize how messy and annoying this is until today, since I am without a dog. Perhaps the worst of it all is that he has no willingness to please and often does the exact opposite of what we say. He seems to get a real charge out of this. I am constantly telling him NOT to eat certain things and yet he consistently repeats his consumption of nasty inedibles, such as crayons, chalk, hair gel, toothpaste, dirt, citrus rinds, flowers, lotion, soap. You name it and he has tasted it...and oddly seems to like it. When I get serious and tell him to look me in the face or get upset and raise my voice in a stern "NO," he laughs. He will often run away from us, giggling, of course. I am thinking that maybe I have too high of expectations of him. I think that he is capable of doing tasks like coloring a picture or helping me prepare biscuits, and yet activities end in abrupt frustration because he consumes the crayons or stuffs flour into his mouth vigorously. Maybe I need to leave him to play with balls and trucks and run around, and not try to do more civilized things like arts & crafts projects. And maybe my eagerness to DO things overtakes the realistic notion that he is a toddler. Take today, for example. I thought going to the garden center to buy seeds and some tools would be fun. We would look at flowers and a koi pond and cool objects. And he did enjoy it, and luckily we got there before it was too crowded so he could run around a bit. But the problem arose when we went to pay for our items and he spotted some cool glass balls, sort of garden art pieces, and colorful glass bud vases. I set him down because he was squirming too much and whining and I had to get my card out to pay, and of course the instant I set him down he reached for the bud vases and as I tried to intercept, I was too late and he knocked over one, which in turn knocked over who knows how many in a domino effect resulting in colorful shattered glass everywhere. As I tried to mitigate the mess, he found comfort in the arms of another woman - a long grey-haired woman scooped him up and told him it was alright. She just seemed to ooze the essence of calm and soothing...whereas I was the stern-faced, disappointed and embarrassed parent trying to scold and teach him a lesson. The workers magically cleaned it all in a matter of seconds and I don't think they charged me for the vases, as we bolted out of there and drove home in silence.

outside with cousin noah

here are some shots of Eddie and Noah from a 70 degree day last week

our quiet easter

Eddie had a 103 fever on Saturday forcing us to lay low for Easter and forego our plans to spend it with friends in the suburbs. Instead we had a quiet day at home, which included a blueberry pancake breakfast, gifts from Grandma Bonnie & Grandpa Rick and the Easter bunny, yard work outside and a ham dinner. Pretty festive, I guess, considering. Here are some highlights:

emotional intelligence

All parents want their kid to be smart. But without the ability to communicate through the spoken word, intelligence is difficult to measure at this age. I am still anxiously awaiting Eddie's command of the English language to surface, and often struggle with whether I should have him checked out by a speech therapist to determine if there is a genuine problem (more on this in forthcoming posts, I presume). But I recognize that there is more to intelligence than the ability to speak, and even more beyond the typical definition of intellectual abilities. I think Eddie has a high emotional intelligence, which is often associated with one's social abilities. We started our new session of music class today; we have been attending a Music Together class since January and today started the new Spring session which meant that some of the participants were new and some weren't. Eddie recognized and approached all of the kids that had been in the class before. He went up to all of them at various moments in the class and shared his instruments or props with them and engaged in a toddler-like conversation, which involved the unspoken word. He didn't go up to any of the new kids. I thought this was pretty neat - that he recognizes familiar people and acknowledges that they are his "friends," and thus engages with them socially. Our babysitter, a nice woman named Sandra who watches Eddie occasionally, recently commented on his social skills after taking him to the park. She said, "you have a sweetie," and that it is so interesting to watch him play with and observe the other kids. I take this as a major compliment because I know that Sandra watches a lot of different kids and she probably sees a lot of different behaviors. People always comment on how smiley Eddie is; he always greets people with a smile, which is a great characteristic for a young kid to have, I think...but he is not naive in his social cues; he recognizes when someone is a stranger and waits to see what our response is, and then, and only then after we have conversed with this person in an upbeat manner, will he done his contagious smile.

early spring

We throughly enjoyed last week's spring preview of 60 degree weather. We went to the park every day, played outside with our neighbors and of course spent a lot of time in out backyard. Here are some shots from last Thursday (note that this was day 1 of Eddie's cold so he probably has some snot in these pics):

our little helper

Eddie has been really in to placing objects - I don't know exactly what the proper term for this developmental skill is, but it is a sort of adult-like imitation and gesture or willingness to help. The cutest is how he will set the table for dinner. He will take the placemats and put them on the table. He will push his high chair to the table. And he will take the silverware and place it on the table. One day while we were unloading the dishwasher (which I always have him help me with), he started to take the silverware into the dining room. And of course he placed it on the table. Too cute. Sometimes when I am folding laundry he will take the clothes one by one and put them back in the washing machine. This is more of an annoyance, but still pretty darn cute. And this weekend, since it was wet and chilly, we built a fire. We had the wood in the other room, simply because there wasn't space right by the fire, and all of a sudden there comes Eddie walking into the living room with a huge log of wood! Of course he didn't add it to the fire himself, but he had fun making a mess with all the little wood piece and then cleaning them up with a dustpan. There are so many of these moments lately that it is impossible to capture them all on film. But below are some recent photos that showcase his eagerness to help.

Helping Dad shovel...actually, shoveling as Dad builds a snowman!


Helping Dad build a fire


"Helping" Mom with laundry...but really just having fun in his "spaceship" of a laundry basket

welcome alex the great!

Eddie has a new cousin! Alexander Charles Washuk was born 3-18-10 in Los Angeles to proud parents Katie and Charlie. I show Eddie photos of his new cousin and he smiles, big and wide. He can't wait to have a new buddy to play with. Alex is a very good looking newborn...he kinda looks similar to Eddie's newborn mug, no?

another cold

You have another cold. It started with some sneezing on Wednesday and yellow snot on Thursday and now today, Friday, it has moved into your lungs and you sound like a wheezing old smoker with a cough like a seal. It is the same progression your last cold took, so I think this chest wheezing should only last a day. Nevertheless, it is still scary to listen to your heaving chest and your sickly moans as you try to move around, but then just tucker out and want to be held. But you never sit still - even while reading books - still wriggling, so eager to move onto the next thing, so unsettled that it makes me feel even worse for you because you seem beyond comforting. When you are sick like this I feel paralyzed by the worry. I want to sleep by your side and make sure you drift off into a peaceful sleep, but you will have none of that. You want to be alone with your blankies as you motion for me to leave the room. I stand outside your door, waiting for you to settle. I try to go about my chores. I turn on the monitor for the first time in many months, just to listen to you breathe.

my big fat cut lip

I literally thought we were going to have to go to the ER this week, or at least see a doctor or pediatric dentist. Eddie was going down the outdoor cement stairs that gain access to our basement and tried to step down the bottom stair like a big boy without holding onto anything and he face planted right into the cement. I scooped him up as he wailed and hurried him inside as blood gushed from his mouth and he flapped his hands around. I pressed a cold wet washcloth to his mouth but had a hard time figuring out exactly where the wound was and if he had lost any teeth. He was so frazzled and upset, wriggling around and not letting me see the inside of his mouth. I called my husband and said, "I think I'm gonna need you to come home. Eddie fell and we may have to go to the hospital." Shortly thereafter though I got him to nurse which combatively calmed him down and caused the bleeding to stop - they say breastmilk heals all wounds - literally, it can heal a cut because of the antibodies in it. And I was then able to see that his teeth were all still in tact and the wound was a cut on the inside of his bottom lip with minor scrapes on his chin, fingers and knee. He was fine and even managed to be a wild man at the park that afternoon. I swear, this kid WILL end up in the ER at least once before he turns 5, I just know it. Although he can be cautious at times, he is also wild and fearless. Today while at the Nature Museum he ran full force into a mirror and fell backwards. Everyone around us was like, oh my god, is he okay. He didn't even cry. His dad beamed and said, "oh yeah, he's fine. He's a hockey player."

poopy spring

Spring is now my least favorite season. Maybe I would feel differently if I didn't have a dog that tracks mud into the house and a little boy who seems to love the mud, wanting to explore the earth as it magically appears from under the blanket of snow and ice that was winter. Problem is that when the snow melts, not only does the yard turn to muck, but it exposes all the winter poops. This year we have the added caveat of a bunny rabbit living under our deck whom has turned our yard into a fecal-filled terror zone. And of course Eddie wants to run all over the place. Today my biggest fear came true. Eddie picked up one of Marty's poops! My reaction was akin to a mother seeing her child dart out into moving traffic - I screamed his name in such a blood-curdling way that I hope the neighbors didn't hear. It all occurred in sort of slow motion. I turned around to run inside and get his coat (he had darted out the door as I let Marty out) and when I returned into view, I saw him dancing around with a poop in his hand. The horror. Luckily it was an older, firmer poop and not a new moist one...luckily he didn't discovered the few piles of diarrhea that Marty had created this weekend. Gross. I just picked him up and somehow I guess it fell out of his hand, or maybe he dropped it as I yelled, I dunno, it is all such a blur. I just picked him up and carried him inside and washed his hands like 50 times. I don't know if I will make it through the spring without having a heart attack.

tantrums

This weekend Eddie really started throwing tantrums. I thought maybe it was in reaction to the fact that I went out Friday and Saturday night, or maybe it was because his routine was thrown off, or maybe just because. Probably the latter. Up until this point his tantrums were really just major bouts of whining, but now he is arching his back if you are holding him, flinging himself to the ground and rolling around or just lying there wailing. Luckily he has yet to pull this in a public setting. It really only occurs during a transition - when we make a change in activities or location. And occurs most frequently when he is outside and we tell him we have to go in, or we try to prevent him from doing something outside, like running around on the poop-covered lawn. The other place he flips out is on the changing table - still hates to have his diaper changed and although it got better for awhile with some new songs and distractions, it is now back to being at the all-time worst with him literally trying to climb down the changing table to escape from the perils of a diaper change. He is also getting more upset when we are out and about and have to put him in his carseat to go home. So I am going to make up a new transition song specifically for car rides. My other transition song that we say whenever we have to change activities is "we had fun, now we're done." It seems to really help. Maybe there will have to be another song for when we have to stop playing outside and go inside...

television

Winters are tough on all of us that live in the northern hemisphere. The cold keeps us indoors with limited activities, especially for a toddler who is eager to explore. And so it is only natural that the TV gets turned on a tad more than we would like. I used to turn on the XM music stations and we would bop around to the tunes of Kids Place Live or just have classical music going on in the background. And then Direct TV changed services and we no longer get Kids Place Live, sadly. Holiday time came and we exposed Eddie to some of the classic holiday specials. A new Disney animated special called "Prep and Landing," which is creatively all about the elves that help Santa get it all done, became his favorite. On weekends when Dad would wake up with Eddie as Mom would sleep in, they would sit and watch "Prep and Landing." This routine then spread from being a weekend-only thing, to an every-day-thing, at least when he would wake up earlier than 7 a.m. because it just felt nice to have some quiet time to unload the dishwasher or make breakfast while Eddie would veg on the chair or couch and stare intently at the screen. Then we started to explore what else was on during the mornings and discovered some cute shows on PBS, including "Curious George," "Sid the Science Kid" and "Super Why." Most recently, the Olympics captivated us and it hardly seemed wrong to watch our athletes compete, despite the excessive commericals. And suddenly Eddie's occasional interest became a regular thing. He started to hand me the remote to turn on the TV. Ok, I turn it on and turn on the music channels. He whines and hands the remote back to me until I turn on a program he is interested in. I allow it because a) it gets him to sit still for awhile and eat his breakfast/lunch/snack, something that was a challenge for awhile, b) it's not like he is not highly active; he is always playing hockey, running around and climbing on everything, c) he is in no way at risk to be obese (only weighs 23 lbs. and is in the 10th percentile for weight) and lastly d) selfishly, it is nice to have a free moment to get housework done...and I am an avid follower of the shows too! But, it does get to me. I know that watching TV is a bad habit, and to support my son's consumption of it feels wrong to me in so many different ways. So I am now vowing to decrease our consumption of it. I know that the weather will be getting nicer soon and it is a hell of a lot easier to play in the backyard or go for a walk to the park when you don't have to get a squirmy toddler all bundled up, but I am going to start now, even with the snow still on the ground, to modify some of our habits to keep us away from the two luminous plasma screens in our kitchen/living space and basement. Today for the first time we sat and ate a snack at the dining room table. It felt really nice. I will sacrifice my free time to get stuff done, but that is okay. It is more important to develop good behaviors and habits now. I am starting to realize that we can't treat Eddie like a baby anymore, as in, we cannot let him and his desires dictate our lives...we are the parents and need to start parenting. This is a hard transition for me and although we have been dealing with it for so long in the sleep department, now I need to start stepping it up as a parent in our daily lives too. Most of the day Eddie calls the shots - if he wants to go downstairs, we go downstairs, if he wants to be picked up to explore the fruit bowl, I pick him up, but sometimes I have to call the shots too. First goal: limit television consumption.

worth it?

We went to the aquarium on Wednesday with my friend Carrie and her two kids. Of course Eddie had a ball pressing up against all the glass and starring at various species swimming, but now he is sick with a bad cold and I cannot help but think he caught it that day. And although I enjoyed hanging out with my friend, the whole experience was one big ball of stress and anxiety, making me wonder, is it all worth it? I mean, all the things we do for our kids, are they really for our kids or just for us to parents to feel like we are being good parents? I have struggled with the right balance between protecting Eddie from the cold and flu season pandemics and exposing him to new places, people and things. Doing anything in Chicago is accompanied with a certain amount of stress that I don't ever remember feeling growing up in Milwaukee. The parking, the paying for parking, the walking, the carrying all the gear, the bundling up just to sweat while you walk and want to strip it all off, the lines, the waiting, the crowds, the germs, the numerous elevators you have to take just because you have a stroller, more waiting, getting hungry and lightheaded, finding a place to sit and eat, refusing to eat "fast" food, wiping down all the surfaces my son may touch while we sit and eat, washing the hands, drying the hands, eating our snacks but wishing we had more food, wiping the hands and face, refusing to use a public bathroom even though you really have to pee and probably should change a diaper, putting a squirmy kid back in the stroller so you can walk back to your car, bundling up again, sweating again, the walk to the car, the search for the keys, the struggle to buckle him in his car seat, driving round and round and round an enclosed parking garage that makes you feel so nauseous and on edge as you try not to hit any other cars since they are all way too tightly parked, the drive home with a whinny kid, the drive home with a sleeping kid, wondering when/if he will wake up. Twenty minutes later we are home, ahhh, and he wakes up. I wish he could tell me he had so much fun...maybe that would make it all worth it.

to all the ladies

By now all of our girl friends should have received their valentines. It was quite a process. He loves to color, especially with markers, and there was many a marks all over the hands. Here are some shots of Eddie working on his valentines: