emotional intelligence

All parents want their kid to be smart. But without the ability to communicate through the spoken word, intelligence is difficult to measure at this age. I am still anxiously awaiting Eddie's command of the English language to surface, and often struggle with whether I should have him checked out by a speech therapist to determine if there is a genuine problem (more on this in forthcoming posts, I presume). But I recognize that there is more to intelligence than the ability to speak, and even more beyond the typical definition of intellectual abilities. I think Eddie has a high emotional intelligence, which is often associated with one's social abilities. We started our new session of music class today; we have been attending a Music Together class since January and today started the new Spring session which meant that some of the participants were new and some weren't. Eddie recognized and approached all of the kids that had been in the class before. He went up to all of them at various moments in the class and shared his instruments or props with them and engaged in a toddler-like conversation, which involved the unspoken word. He didn't go up to any of the new kids. I thought this was pretty neat - that he recognizes familiar people and acknowledges that they are his "friends," and thus engages with them socially. Our babysitter, a nice woman named Sandra who watches Eddie occasionally, recently commented on his social skills after taking him to the park. She said, "you have a sweetie," and that it is so interesting to watch him play with and observe the other kids. I take this as a major compliment because I know that Sandra watches a lot of different kids and she probably sees a lot of different behaviors. People always comment on how smiley Eddie is; he always greets people with a smile, which is a great characteristic for a young kid to have, I think...but he is not naive in his social cues; he recognizes when someone is a stranger and waits to see what our response is, and then, and only then after we have conversed with this person in an upbeat manner, will he done his contagious smile.

early spring

We throughly enjoyed last week's spring preview of 60 degree weather. We went to the park every day, played outside with our neighbors and of course spent a lot of time in out backyard. Here are some shots from last Thursday (note that this was day 1 of Eddie's cold so he probably has some snot in these pics):

our little helper

Eddie has been really in to placing objects - I don't know exactly what the proper term for this developmental skill is, but it is a sort of adult-like imitation and gesture or willingness to help. The cutest is how he will set the table for dinner. He will take the placemats and put them on the table. He will push his high chair to the table. And he will take the silverware and place it on the table. One day while we were unloading the dishwasher (which I always have him help me with), he started to take the silverware into the dining room. And of course he placed it on the table. Too cute. Sometimes when I am folding laundry he will take the clothes one by one and put them back in the washing machine. This is more of an annoyance, but still pretty darn cute. And this weekend, since it was wet and chilly, we built a fire. We had the wood in the other room, simply because there wasn't space right by the fire, and all of a sudden there comes Eddie walking into the living room with a huge log of wood! Of course he didn't add it to the fire himself, but he had fun making a mess with all the little wood piece and then cleaning them up with a dustpan. There are so many of these moments lately that it is impossible to capture them all on film. But below are some recent photos that showcase his eagerness to help.

Helping Dad shovel...actually, shoveling as Dad builds a snowman!


Helping Dad build a fire


"Helping" Mom with laundry...but really just having fun in his "spaceship" of a laundry basket

welcome alex the great!

Eddie has a new cousin! Alexander Charles Washuk was born 3-18-10 in Los Angeles to proud parents Katie and Charlie. I show Eddie photos of his new cousin and he smiles, big and wide. He can't wait to have a new buddy to play with. Alex is a very good looking newborn...he kinda looks similar to Eddie's newborn mug, no?

another cold

You have another cold. It started with some sneezing on Wednesday and yellow snot on Thursday and now today, Friday, it has moved into your lungs and you sound like a wheezing old smoker with a cough like a seal. It is the same progression your last cold took, so I think this chest wheezing should only last a day. Nevertheless, it is still scary to listen to your heaving chest and your sickly moans as you try to move around, but then just tucker out and want to be held. But you never sit still - even while reading books - still wriggling, so eager to move onto the next thing, so unsettled that it makes me feel even worse for you because you seem beyond comforting. When you are sick like this I feel paralyzed by the worry. I want to sleep by your side and make sure you drift off into a peaceful sleep, but you will have none of that. You want to be alone with your blankies as you motion for me to leave the room. I stand outside your door, waiting for you to settle. I try to go about my chores. I turn on the monitor for the first time in many months, just to listen to you breathe.

my big fat cut lip

I literally thought we were going to have to go to the ER this week, or at least see a doctor or pediatric dentist. Eddie was going down the outdoor cement stairs that gain access to our basement and tried to step down the bottom stair like a big boy without holding onto anything and he face planted right into the cement. I scooped him up as he wailed and hurried him inside as blood gushed from his mouth and he flapped his hands around. I pressed a cold wet washcloth to his mouth but had a hard time figuring out exactly where the wound was and if he had lost any teeth. He was so frazzled and upset, wriggling around and not letting me see the inside of his mouth. I called my husband and said, "I think I'm gonna need you to come home. Eddie fell and we may have to go to the hospital." Shortly thereafter though I got him to nurse which combatively calmed him down and caused the bleeding to stop - they say breastmilk heals all wounds - literally, it can heal a cut because of the antibodies in it. And I was then able to see that his teeth were all still in tact and the wound was a cut on the inside of his bottom lip with minor scrapes on his chin, fingers and knee. He was fine and even managed to be a wild man at the park that afternoon. I swear, this kid WILL end up in the ER at least once before he turns 5, I just know it. Although he can be cautious at times, he is also wild and fearless. Today while at the Nature Museum he ran full force into a mirror and fell backwards. Everyone around us was like, oh my god, is he okay. He didn't even cry. His dad beamed and said, "oh yeah, he's fine. He's a hockey player."

poopy spring

Spring is now my least favorite season. Maybe I would feel differently if I didn't have a dog that tracks mud into the house and a little boy who seems to love the mud, wanting to explore the earth as it magically appears from under the blanket of snow and ice that was winter. Problem is that when the snow melts, not only does the yard turn to muck, but it exposes all the winter poops. This year we have the added caveat of a bunny rabbit living under our deck whom has turned our yard into a fecal-filled terror zone. And of course Eddie wants to run all over the place. Today my biggest fear came true. Eddie picked up one of Marty's poops! My reaction was akin to a mother seeing her child dart out into moving traffic - I screamed his name in such a blood-curdling way that I hope the neighbors didn't hear. It all occurred in sort of slow motion. I turned around to run inside and get his coat (he had darted out the door as I let Marty out) and when I returned into view, I saw him dancing around with a poop in his hand. The horror. Luckily it was an older, firmer poop and not a new moist one...luckily he didn't discovered the few piles of diarrhea that Marty had created this weekend. Gross. I just picked him up and somehow I guess it fell out of his hand, or maybe he dropped it as I yelled, I dunno, it is all such a blur. I just picked him up and carried him inside and washed his hands like 50 times. I don't know if I will make it through the spring without having a heart attack.

tantrums

This weekend Eddie really started throwing tantrums. I thought maybe it was in reaction to the fact that I went out Friday and Saturday night, or maybe it was because his routine was thrown off, or maybe just because. Probably the latter. Up until this point his tantrums were really just major bouts of whining, but now he is arching his back if you are holding him, flinging himself to the ground and rolling around or just lying there wailing. Luckily he has yet to pull this in a public setting. It really only occurs during a transition - when we make a change in activities or location. And occurs most frequently when he is outside and we tell him we have to go in, or we try to prevent him from doing something outside, like running around on the poop-covered lawn. The other place he flips out is on the changing table - still hates to have his diaper changed and although it got better for awhile with some new songs and distractions, it is now back to being at the all-time worst with him literally trying to climb down the changing table to escape from the perils of a diaper change. He is also getting more upset when we are out and about and have to put him in his carseat to go home. So I am going to make up a new transition song specifically for car rides. My other transition song that we say whenever we have to change activities is "we had fun, now we're done." It seems to really help. Maybe there will have to be another song for when we have to stop playing outside and go inside...

television

Winters are tough on all of us that live in the northern hemisphere. The cold keeps us indoors with limited activities, especially for a toddler who is eager to explore. And so it is only natural that the TV gets turned on a tad more than we would like. I used to turn on the XM music stations and we would bop around to the tunes of Kids Place Live or just have classical music going on in the background. And then Direct TV changed services and we no longer get Kids Place Live, sadly. Holiday time came and we exposed Eddie to some of the classic holiday specials. A new Disney animated special called "Prep and Landing," which is creatively all about the elves that help Santa get it all done, became his favorite. On weekends when Dad would wake up with Eddie as Mom would sleep in, they would sit and watch "Prep and Landing." This routine then spread from being a weekend-only thing, to an every-day-thing, at least when he would wake up earlier than 7 a.m. because it just felt nice to have some quiet time to unload the dishwasher or make breakfast while Eddie would veg on the chair or couch and stare intently at the screen. Then we started to explore what else was on during the mornings and discovered some cute shows on PBS, including "Curious George," "Sid the Science Kid" and "Super Why." Most recently, the Olympics captivated us and it hardly seemed wrong to watch our athletes compete, despite the excessive commericals. And suddenly Eddie's occasional interest became a regular thing. He started to hand me the remote to turn on the TV. Ok, I turn it on and turn on the music channels. He whines and hands the remote back to me until I turn on a program he is interested in. I allow it because a) it gets him to sit still for awhile and eat his breakfast/lunch/snack, something that was a challenge for awhile, b) it's not like he is not highly active; he is always playing hockey, running around and climbing on everything, c) he is in no way at risk to be obese (only weighs 23 lbs. and is in the 10th percentile for weight) and lastly d) selfishly, it is nice to have a free moment to get housework done...and I am an avid follower of the shows too! But, it does get to me. I know that watching TV is a bad habit, and to support my son's consumption of it feels wrong to me in so many different ways. So I am now vowing to decrease our consumption of it. I know that the weather will be getting nicer soon and it is a hell of a lot easier to play in the backyard or go for a walk to the park when you don't have to get a squirmy toddler all bundled up, but I am going to start now, even with the snow still on the ground, to modify some of our habits to keep us away from the two luminous plasma screens in our kitchen/living space and basement. Today for the first time we sat and ate a snack at the dining room table. It felt really nice. I will sacrifice my free time to get stuff done, but that is okay. It is more important to develop good behaviors and habits now. I am starting to realize that we can't treat Eddie like a baby anymore, as in, we cannot let him and his desires dictate our lives...we are the parents and need to start parenting. This is a hard transition for me and although we have been dealing with it for so long in the sleep department, now I need to start stepping it up as a parent in our daily lives too. Most of the day Eddie calls the shots - if he wants to go downstairs, we go downstairs, if he wants to be picked up to explore the fruit bowl, I pick him up, but sometimes I have to call the shots too. First goal: limit television consumption.