two

It's 2:34 as I start to type. Two years ago at this time I was climbing out of the supersized, 98 degree whirlpool tub in the hospital room at Prentice and getting into the bed to push...an exciting yet awkward feeling that was accompanied with some nausea, anxiety and simultaneous gratitude for all the amazing support I had in the room. Today I still have some of those emotions when I reflect upon the last year of E4's life. Nausea I suppose the least, but sort of appropriate because we are still battling with sleep deprivation from our continued night waking...but it has gotten way better in the last two weeks. Ever since our travels have ceased and our routines are back on track, Eddie has been either sleeping through the night or only waking up once. Praise the Lord. Another huge sleep achievement, in my opinion, is that he is finally waking up and not crying or whining, but rather now when he wakes up he will start to talk and play...this is music to my ears.

Anxiety is still an emotion I naturally feel as a mother because there is always something to be concerned about when it comes to your child/ren. Although I am the most stable and at ease right now in my life than ever before...and I attribute most of that to my happy son (and of course his loving father), there is still much I worry about regarding Eddie's development, namely his verbal skills. Although he has progressed, he is probably more akin with an 18 month old's level of speech. Words like "shoe," "baby," "hot," and "stuck" are now part of his vocabulary, and he makes noises for some words like "ooo-ooo-ooo" for a monkey (namely Curious George) and "choo-choo" for a train, but he does not pronounce many consonants so words like "ball" are still absent of any "ll"s and much of his talk is unrecognizable babble. Many kids his age are now talking in simple sentences and combining nouns, adjectives and verbs. So I inevitably feel like he is behind...and that he will forever be my baby. He still seems like a baby to me in so many ways - he still nurses a ton, he still sleeps in a crib and he still wears diapers. These are things that I know some kids have grown out of already before the age of two, so I just feel like we have a long way to go yet and that this next year is going to be a busy one!

Eddie has made huge strides this year in his gross motor and athletic skills, and I guess these are the traits that most people recognize in him to be advanced. He can swing a real golf club, he can swing a bat and hit a ball consistently off a tee, he can kick and dribble a soccer ball, he can shoot hoops, both slam dunk and jump shot and he throws a mean, lefty, fast ball, complete with a leg pump. These are things that my husband is extremely proud of, of course. We have a genuine athlete on our hands. Other than sports, Eddie is also "in"to playing with cars and trucks, playing with and pointing out all trains, riding his bike (although he hasn't gotten the hang of pedaling quite yet), watching Sesame Street, particularly Elmo, going for walks in the neighborhood (which rarely consists of a stroller these days since he just wants to walk and run freely) and playing with other kids. You should see the excited look on his face when he runs out to the front of our house and hears or sees other kids playing in the neighborhood. Some of the most pure joy I have witnessed in him has been during moments of playing with his friends and cousins. He still loves to eat and has mastered eating with a spoon and a fork and sits at our table on a grown-up chair. He is quite well mannered. He wipes his mouth with a napkin when complete. His favorite foods at this point seem to be corn, blueberries, peaches, salmon, anything growing in our garden and any meat off the bone - he loves lamb chops and chicken legs. He is genuinely a decisive, seasonal eater with a discerning palate (yes, I am so proud!). For example, although normally he loves corn on the cobb (he even eats it raw as we shuck it), one time we had a bad batch from the store and he would not finish his. It was too funny. He hardly eats tomatoes in the winter; now that they are in-season, he pops them in his mouth like candy.

Gratitude. I am grateful for my husband, most of all. He is my rock, my sounding board and dedicated life partner. He always makes me feel like I am the best mother and wife in the world, and this is important, especially when you are a stay-home mom with nothing else to shift your focus to. I am grateful for my Bomby, my Totty, my Cuddlebug. Happy is the way we start every morning and end every day. He is an experienced, seasoned soul, someone who has walked this Earth before and proceeds with slight caution and decisive,captivated focus. His intensity burns from the inside out. His humor is like a seed still germinating. He will bring joy to so many. He will work hard and with great focus. I am certain that amazing things are yet to come from my son.