worth it?

We went to the aquarium on Wednesday with my friend Carrie and her two kids. Of course Eddie had a ball pressing up against all the glass and starring at various species swimming, but now he is sick with a bad cold and I cannot help but think he caught it that day. And although I enjoyed hanging out with my friend, the whole experience was one big ball of stress and anxiety, making me wonder, is it all worth it? I mean, all the things we do for our kids, are they really for our kids or just for us to parents to feel like we are being good parents? I have struggled with the right balance between protecting Eddie from the cold and flu season pandemics and exposing him to new places, people and things. Doing anything in Chicago is accompanied with a certain amount of stress that I don't ever remember feeling growing up in Milwaukee. The parking, the paying for parking, the walking, the carrying all the gear, the bundling up just to sweat while you walk and want to strip it all off, the lines, the waiting, the crowds, the germs, the numerous elevators you have to take just because you have a stroller, more waiting, getting hungry and lightheaded, finding a place to sit and eat, refusing to eat "fast" food, wiping down all the surfaces my son may touch while we sit and eat, washing the hands, drying the hands, eating our snacks but wishing we had more food, wiping the hands and face, refusing to use a public bathroom even though you really have to pee and probably should change a diaper, putting a squirmy kid back in the stroller so you can walk back to your car, bundling up again, sweating again, the walk to the car, the search for the keys, the struggle to buckle him in his car seat, driving round and round and round an enclosed parking garage that makes you feel so nauseous and on edge as you try not to hit any other cars since they are all way too tightly parked, the drive home with a whinny kid, the drive home with a sleeping kid, wondering when/if he will wake up. Twenty minutes later we are home, ahhh, and he wakes up. I wish he could tell me he had so much fun...maybe that would make it all worth it.