new shoes

We had to go shopping for new shoes for Eddie. He is obviously growing because none of his shoes fit. I realized it after taking a pair off and seeing all these red indentations on his feet. So I went to two kid shoe boutiques and one baby store all in a span of a couple hours and needless to say both Eddie and I were shoed out. I felt in a panic to get something since we leave for Maine in a couple days and he needs at least one pair to where on the airplane. So I ended up getting three pairs of shoes on sale, none of which I really loved. So I had a minor breakdown that night, feeling like I made bad choices and was spending too much money on baby stuff. It's hard to be a stay home mom, have no personal income and yet also be the one making most of the household purchases. Now more than ever I feel a sense of anxiety and guilt when I spend money, even on trips to Target to get paper towel and toothpaste. Somehow the bill always adds up to over $100 and I find myself staring at the receipt as if there just may be an addition error. But how? I find myself saying. And of course baby stuff makes it so much easier to just spend spend spend. Everything seems like a necessity and you also always want "the best" for your kids, right? So what is a income-less mom with high standards of quality supposed to do? My husband has urged me to stay away from the Chicago baby boutiques and shop at the megastores - I will try, but I like to support the local businesses, the little guys, and they tend to have way better customer service and higher quality products. At one of the shoe stores they even measured Eddie's little foot - it is 19 1/2 cm, which is a size 5 in the US shoe market - and made the whole ordeal easier by just placing shoes on his feet as I held him. So I have decided that it is time to keep a baby budget - not sure why I hadn't started doing it sooner since I did keep a detailed one of all the stuff we purchased when Eddie was still in utero. I think the budget will help me feel more in control of the purchases...but as for regulating what is a necessity and what is a splurge when it comes to your own flesh and blood, I dunno, maybe nothing can really help one manage the natural instinct to nurture and ultimately spoil.