go bananas

Eddie's first attempts at eating were not the most encouraging, or so I thought. I just kept saying, "he doesn't seem that into it," and was a tad disappointed since we expected him to be a good eater. But some observation and instruction from my mother made me realize that he is right on target and does like the process of eating, especially bananas. I guess I sort of expected him to open his mouth wide for the incoming spoon, twirling through the air like a plane, and to take in the full spoon and sort of chew - instead, as posted on the "just a taste" blog, he dipped his head down and sort of lapped up the food off the spoon. My mom made me realize that infants truly do not how know to eat - you have to train them. She showed me how to insert the spoon into the mouth and move it in a downward and then upward movement to get him to open his mouth wider and to clean off the spoon with his mouth. And although my first response to watching this process was, "oh no, don't force feed him!," I soon realized that this was all it took to instruct him how to use his mouth to take in and swallow the food. Now he is practically doing it on his own and even attempting to feed himself!

Why don't our parenting books discuss HOW to feed your baby? Why does the discussion on a baby's first meal emphasize proper timing (make sure they are in a good mood and don't force it if they seem uninterested) and proper spacing between foods (try a single food for 4-7 days to ensure there are no allergic reactions)? Times have definitely changed when it comes to feeding your baby. A look at my own sister's baby book (she was born in 1976) showed that she was given rice cereal at 2 weeks old and applesauce a few days later! To parents of today that just sounds crazy. The pediatric community is so worked up about allergies that we are not even supposed to expose our babies to wheat until 9 months and cow's milk until 1 year. And when I told my mom that Eddie's first egg will probably be on Easter, she said, "just the white though, right?" And I responded, "no, now they say only the yolk as they have determined it's the white part of the egg that causes allergies." It just proves how much the field of medicine changes over time, and yet we all survived, unscathed by allergies. Practical parenting, to me, means taking in all the viewpoints, the medical experts of the present and the traditions of the past that have led to healthy adults of today, and using the educated combined response to guide your decisions.

As for my analytical response to the first question I posed, I think there is no instruction on HOW to feed your baby because a) doctors want you wait so long (until babies are 6 months) so that the baby has the oral and gross motor skills to be able to hold their head up and open their mouth, and b) because they are so fixated on obesity prevention that meals have ceased to be about caloric consumption and nutrition, and more about a potential life-altering habit, that if not healthy and done in moderation, could ultimately lead to one's demise. My mother came from an Italian family where the motto was 'you clean your plate, or else' and you did so to remain healthy and to have reserves in case you got seriously ill. So her, what I labeled "aggressive", form of feeding baby Eddie was derived from this mentality, along with the viewpoint that eating is a time for eating, not for playing. Many of the books I have read discuss the process of eating as a learning experience, which of course it is, and emphasize the importance of recognizing when your child has had enough. But I think they are also hindering first time parents by not discussing the technique of feeding your baby with a spoon, and as a result, parents, like me, will just put the spoon out there assuming their baby is naturally going to open his or her mouth and swallow. And furthermore, when the expected reaction does not occur, we assume our babies are uninterested and not ready to eat, thereby preventing them from receiving necessary caloric intake and more importantly, the learning experience.

So, I learned my lesson - read the books, but also learn from seasoned parents - despite the generation gaps, they undoubtedly know what they are doing. And since bananas are going well, tomorrow we will start mixing them with the rice cereal...and maybe introduce oats soon thereafter.