grandma bonnie

This is Grandma Bonnie Jr. :)
I met Eddie IV for the first time Friday afternoon, Sept. 26, It was love at first sight! At first I was nervous picking him up, it has been a long time. Within seconds it felt natural, normal. I felt like one of his grandmothers! It was an amazing feeling to be gazing upon my son's son, and he does remind me very much of Eddie III at birth. Eddie IV stared at me with those penetrating eyes, eyes like his mother. He's an attentive baby. When I held him I felt a bond. I think he knows I'm family. And he is such a cuddle bug!

Like my boys, he likes to be held up, and like Charlie Washuk has to be encouraged at times to sleep. I don't think he wants to miss anything. He is smiling, which just lights up your heart. Eddie IV is rarely NOT being held!

For three days, Fri., Sat and Sun, I had the privilege of holding him, tagging along as mom & dad took Eddie in walks in the stroller, watching Eddie coo over him, Josie feeding and nurturing him. It gives me such joy to watch my son be so into his role as dad, and what a gentle, loving, caring mother Josie is. Eddie IV is incredibly lucky! And I feel blessed to have such a grandson! I love you little Eddie IV! Thank you Eddie & Josie for having me, and for adding such a gem to our family.
Bonnie Washuk-Zaccaro, heading back to Maine in the morning.....

most difficult job

Why didn't anyone tell me how hard this was going to be? yes, of course I had heard countless times from mothers the phrase "motherhood is the most challenging job, but also the most rewarding." But for some reason I always thought they meant a hyperactive toddler or a rebellious adolescent. I didn't think they also meant rearing a newborn. It is by far the toughest thing I have ever done. Way tougher than labor itself. See labor was relatively easy for me because I trusted my body and the naturalness of birth, and I viewed contractions like interval training - the 1 minute of pain is bearable simply because you know you will have 2-5 minutes of rest between each one. And you know that at one point it will all be over with. Parenthood is forever. There is no such thing as a water break, or a weekend or sleeping in. Attending to and aiding little Eddie meet his most basic needs, simply put, to eat, sleep and poop, is all I do, and it has compromised my ability to attend to my own basic needs. Today all I ate was a 1/2 bowl of cereal and a vitamin water (of course that is just breakfast and lunch; once my husband gets home, I eat - we had braised lamb, potatoes and cauliflower). I know that part of my challenge is Eddie's fussiness and neediness, but mostly my own motherly instinct to respond to his every need even if it means allowing him to nap on me because that's the only way he can fall asleep.

the faces of eddie

one month

Yesterday was your one month birthday! Wow. You have grown and developed so much. Every day when Daddy comes home from work he proclaims that you have gotten even cuter. This last month has gone by quickly and yet it all feels like an adapted routine in a way, so much so that we cannot imagine life without you. Here are some observances and your current characteristics displayed this month:

physical: you are a snotty boy...your nose is constantly full of boogers that are mostly dried up and we have to put in saline drops to try to loosen them and get you to sneeze them out or use the aspirator. The doctor says this is very normal in the first 8 weeks of life. It makes you have difficulties breathing, mostly when you are eating since you must breathe solely through your nose, and causes some funny noises to emerge (see below). Your hair is still quite blond and growing, growing most rapidly in the back which makes it appear like you have a mullet and Daddy likes to tease you. Your eyes are wide open to the world, big and blue. Your hands and feet are still relatively large for the rest of your body and you constantly move them around...very active. You still like your hands to remain in fists and you have "baby lint" in them constantly. Your head has gotten much bigger and also your gut, but your legs are still skinny. Your neck strength is increasing and when on your belly you can lift your head briefly and turn it to both sides.

You have acid reflux - most babies do because of their underdeveloped sphincter muscle. It makes you burp loudly, sometimes wet burps and also gives you hiccups. Sometimes you can tell it is literally coming up your esophagus because you cough and it sounds like your throat is burning...poor guy. You don't spit up too much but I think you do more than we realize because I have seen you spit up and swallow it right away - that's when you make that face of sticking your tongue out or the wrinkled up nose look. Again, the doctors say not to worry unless he isn't gaining weight. I tried eliminating cow's milk from my diet, since that has been determined to be one of the causes in some, but it didn't seem to help.

noises: you have many audible expressions, made through your constantly clogged nose - you snort when worked up, so we call you "Erkle." You also have a Snork-like sound which Daddy imitates. You have a singular tone cry which is more like an expression of "Hey!" that you use when you want attention, or to be attended to, like picked up or fed. You stretch a lot and make cute sounds like the murmurs one makes when they are trying to get comfortable.

expressions: there are so many...see the photos. Our favorites are the "Lauer" face - a serious expression with your lips pursed and chin out, the "Magoo" face which you don't do as much now but I see it in the middle of the night still, which is when your eyes are closed and you stretch and elongate your neck, the "O" face, which is when your mouth makes a little "o" and usually proceeds expressions of hunger, and you are starting to smile! It happens mostly in the morning when you are well rested.

personality: well you are getting used to getting what you want and when you don't, you showcase your temper, which I am told is a trait that infant Eddie III had...beware. You get fussy when hungry or tired, and we call you "fussles" or "fussy bussy." We soothe you mostly by the nipple, walking with you, bouncing you (you like the exercise ball the most) or simply by holding you close to our chest and rubbing your back. You don't like to be changed or to be bathed or to get dressed at all, often screaming, although it is getting better and I swear as of two days ago you started smiling at me on the changing table. When you are alert you move your legs and arms a ton, and can follow an object with your eyes but often you stare at nothingness - the wall, out the window, the arm of the chair, etc...sometimes you are in a calm, focused state and stare at things (this you get from your mother).

books we've read: Yertle the Turtle, The Tale of Peter Rabbit, Where the Wild Things Are, Grimm's Fairy Tales and the first three chapters of Ovid's Metamorphoses. I have also read to you excerpts from Sports Illustrated and various culinary books.

toys we play with: well you can't really play or grab yet but we show you and you can follow with your eyes the Pooh rattle, our first gift given to us by Grandma Bonnie way back in Dec. 2007 when we announced our pregnancy, and the little monkey from Scotty and Chrissy.

songs we sing: Old McDonald, Wheels on the Bus, Zippity do dah, Scarborough Fair, Ciao Mama (an Italian Song by Jovanotti) and Daddy sings numerous tunes which he doesn't know the words to...hopefully Grandma Bonnie can help fill in the gaps when she visits.

family

Earlier this week, Sept. 9, was our anniversary. We didn't do much, of course, but I did surprise Eddie III with a Maine lobster dinner complete with corn on the cob and potatoes. It was Eddie IV's first encounter with a lobster too...we know there will be many more. Perhaps the most special thing about this, our second anniversary, is that it marks the beginning of our lives truly as a family. Last night I asked Eddie III if he could do anything what would he like to do?, and he promptly responded, as he sat in a chair in our family room holding Eddie IV, "I am already doing it." It practically brought tears to my eyes. I am so lucky to have such an loving, engaged husband. Someone who literally gets excited to change little Eddie's diaper just because it is another opportunity to spend time with his son. And I swear that little Eddie stares at his Dad in a uniquely captivating way, unlike the way he looks at me, laden with admiration, wonder and above all, love.

baby steps

I know the term is in reference to an infant's first attempts at walking, but lately I have been thinking that the term is even more applicable to describe the slow, methodical pace of life that takes over once you have a baby. Everything must be approached in progressive steps, meaning in order to do something big, such as leave the house, you must do the small things, like the feeding, changing of diaper and dressing of clothes, in steps. And the steps can often take hours, especially since the feeding can cause the diaper to be dirtied which means then the clothes need to be changed...a vicious cycle. Then you have to attend to yourself - go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, do your hair, shower (if you are lucky and baby is sleeping soundly) and get dressed. Again, these things sound easy and like minor tasks, but with a newborn sometimes you can only accomplish one thing, let's say, the brushing of the teeth, before you have to reply to their cries and attend to their needs (which in Eddie's case usually means he wants to eat) and then wait until the next moment of calmness before you can finish the other tasks. Right now I am typing one-handed, which has become pretty standard for me, because Eddie is sleeping like an angel on my lap and on my left arm. If I make an attempt to move him and put him down in his bassinet, he will awaken and start fussing, rooting and making all the signs indicating "hunger." I know this because I have already tried it four times just now before giving in to his need for me to be his pillow and his bed for the next 30 minutes or so. I suppose this is the luxury of a stay-home mom - being able to just give in to the moment and watch your child sleep in your arms and not worry too much about what else you should be doing - thank god for machines like dishwashers and washing machines that help with cleaning and are hands free...maybe we need to buy one of those hands free vacuums too...

poops and pees

Those who have met Eddie IV are acquainted, some more intimately than others, with his bodily functions. He doesn't spit up much, but he did on Hilary - sorry Hilary. But he poops and pees a lot, and he often makes it a public affair. His BMs can be heard across the room, and are quite juicy, leaving his Dad to proclaim, "ah, too much fruit" (I think it's a quote from "Look Who's Talking.") And his farts are quite adult-like and reminiscent of "Nacho Libre." It is true what the books say - breastfed babies' poops look like mustard, like straight up yellow hot dog mustard, and they actually smell quite nice, at least I think so. The smell is an earthy sort of caramel corn-like scent. Anyway, the liquidy mustard poops have already leaked through various diapers - yesterday Belle, Aunt Evie and Uncle Mike's dog, visited (see slide show) and Belle was very excited to discover one of these blow-outs on Eddie's leg. Mmmmm...
As for pees, Eddie is quite well hydrated because his diaper is often wet...and his clothes...and his blanket or sheet...and often the shirt of whomever is holding him - yesterday, Uncle Mike was his victim - sorry Mike. And the changing table is still a battleground for us. Hilary gave us some pee-pee tepees (they cover the wee wee) and they have worked a few times, but often Eddie's stream of urine beats us to the covering - the other day he squirted himself in the face, poor guy!
So, my question to parents everywhere is, what's the deal? Don't you think that in 2008 there would be a diaper to contain an infants' excrement? As most of you know, I have intended to use cloth diapers, mostly for environmental reasons but also economic, and I have used the old-fashioned pre-folds several times. Each time though, Eddie has created a poop that has leaked out one of the legs, and the diaper itself - those Snappi adhering things (used now instead of pins) hardly stay in place and the diaper would completely fall off if not for the cover you put over it. So we mostly use chlorine-free disposables (Seventh Generation and Nature's Babycare) for now because the all-in-one style cloth diapers (I have Swaddlebees) are too big for him. Even the Pampers Swaddlers that they give you at the hospital leaked. And even if they didn't I wouldn't use them because they contain this weird absorbent gel that ends up on your baby's skin and has some uncontested side effects that freak me out. So for now I am trying to change Eddie more frequently to try to avoid the leakage, and I may try another brand of cloth diapers that fits him now even though he will grow out of them soon. But any advice is welcomed in this arena because the laundry loads are piling up.

car rides, yoga and visitors

We've been busy, hence the delay in posting another blog entry. Thanks to everyone who has come over to visit us. Little Eddie seems to like guests and most of the time is on his best behavior. His Uncle Charlie came to visit over Labor Day weekend which was special. We gave Eddie IV his first bath (see the photos in the slide show) and he really seemed to enjoy it - didn't cry one bit, which we were shocked by since he still cries practically every time we change his diaper. Last week was a week of hunkering down for us, at the urging of my paranoid father who says "don't take little Eddie anywhere" as he is scared that Eddie will get sick and acts like the plague is upon us. But also it was good for us to stay at home to focus on breastfeeding and sleeping patterns. This week started off with a huge milestone for me - we had an appointment with the pediatrician on Tuesday and since Eddie III was working, I had to take Eddie IV by myself - it was the first time I was alone with him in the car. And I was anxious about it because with the new regulations with car seats the baby faces backwards and you cannot observe them...so the silence gets to you because you are wondering "is he alive?" and on the opposite end, when he cries I have no way of soothing him except for cranking the classical music up and repeating the phrase "we're almost home." So far I have only contemplated twice about pulling into a Walgreens parking lot just to soothe him. But the ride went okay - he only cried for like 2 minutes on the way there and then passed out. And the Dr's visit went very well - yes, he has been growing - grew an inch in length and now weighs 8 lbs. 9 ozs. Big boy! We also took another trip to the Farmer's Market on Wednesday with Carrie, Emma and Carrie's son Mikali (the pictures will be posted next week), and yesterday we ventured out despite the rain and went to Mama and Baby yoga class. Eddie IV was by far the youngest participant and didn't really allow Mommy to get a workout in since he wanted to be held the entire time...oh well, it is a nice atmosphere for a new mom with a lot of support from other moms and an openness that makes you feel comfortable breastfeeding and changing a diaper in front of strangers. The days go by quickly between all the feedings and we have been taking a 2 hour nap together typically between 2- 4 p.m. Yesterday I hooked up the monitor so now I feel comfortable actually leaving the room when he is sleeping. Right now he is sleeping and I am off to write Thank You notes, hoping that I get more than one done, which is what I completed yesterday before he woke up and was looking for food.