growing pains

We think Eddie is going through a growth spurt. The medical literature says that the first growth spurt is around 2 weeks. On Thursday, which marked day 10 of life for Eddie, he had his worst day yet. He hardly slept and spent the whole day fussing at my nipple. He showed all signs of hunger and yet when presented with the nipple, he would suck for only a few seconds and then detach and then clamor for more, like a twisted game that seemed never ending between the hours of 8 a.m. and 2 p.m. Finally around 2:30 he feel asleep. I was literally at my wits end having not slept well the night before and having not eaten anything, thinking that maybe my milk was drying up. Then on Friday Eddie was an angel and slept from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. I read that growth spurts are categorized by excessive hunger/desire to feed, fussiness and hibernation-like sleep...well, there you have it, he is growing! Everyone that has come to visit proclaims that he has huge hands and feet and I swear that his big toe has just grown even more over the past day. His legs seem longer too. I won't be surprised if at the doctor's visit on Tuesday they have him weighing over 8 lbs. and measuring over 24 inches. Also his umby cord fell out today! Daddy Eddie noticed it while changing a diaper and I frantically made him search for the dried stump...we found it in little Eddie's sleep sack. Oh, time to go, growing boy waking from him slumber.

feeding frenzy

Eddie is officially a boob man. To say that breastfeeding has been easy for us is a partially correct statement - yes, he has a good latch, and yes, I didn't experience any painful engorgement, and yes, he is eating well - the visit to the pediatrician on Monday confirmed this as he is not only back to his birth weight, but has gained some weight too, weighing 7 lbs. 8 ozs. now. But the doubt and concern that races through a mother's mind as she is constantly attending to her newborn, appeasing his requests and signals of hunger - rooting, hands to mouth and fussing - with the presence of the boob has been growing these past few days and heeding advice from others ceases to quell the nerves and questioning. Some people say one breast per feeding, no matter if it takes 15 minutes or 60, and some say switch breasts every 15-20 minutes. Little Eddie often feeds for over an hour, relishing in the process like a true gourmand and at times it seems like all he wants is to be attached to my breast and nothing else can soothe him...I have become a human nipple. Finally this morning I picked up a book that provided some much needed comfort for my analytical mind - it is called "Breastfeeding Made Simple" by Nancy Mohrbacher and was a gift from my cousin Annie (thanks Annie!). The book explains several concepts that I think are key to understanding why a newborn is so needy and why what I am experiencing is not only "normal" but healthy. First, a human newborn is the most immature of all mammals - we are born before the brain has time to mature because of the relative size of the brain (large) to the pelvis (small) which is all due to the fact that we are upright creatures - this I had heard before and makes sense, explaining that the first 6 weeks of life are truly more like an extensive of in utero and we must mimic the womb in order to soothe the baby. But then she explains how humans fall under the category of "carry mammals," akin to kangaroos and apes, meaning that the infant, due to its immaturity, must literally be held and kept in skin-to-skin contact and must feed often due to our levels of protein and fat in milk - this differs from nesting, follow and cache mammals like dogs, cows and deer. So the whole attachment that I have been experiencing with Eddie makes sense. Secondly she explains how breastfeeding is not about a schedule which one can regulate or control, but more like ebbs and flows, and that your baby dictates it. So if he wants to feed 24/7 so be it. This is hard to accept in our culture and day and age of timetables and business...it is easy to think that a newborn would have a set eating and sleeping schedule and also to think that as parents you can dictate this, but once you understand that developmentally they are still like fetuses, you soon realize that to hold them to such standards is a bit ridiculous and naive. So for now we will just accept the feeding frenzy, and relish in this time of postpartum when all an infant needs is his parents. There is some comfort in this, knowing that life will change dramatically relatively quickly and before long he will be independent and defiant...and the doubt of parenthood will continue.

home sweet home

We came home from the hospital safely on Wednesday. I got choked up as we were walking out with baby Eddie secured in his car seat, marking our true transition into parenthood as we were about to be without the securities of trained nurses and doctors. The hospital stay was pretty posh - Northwestern Prentice is a new state of the art facility complete with plasma t.v.s, 24 hour room service and the best care imaginable. Our first night there we called the night nurse four times - when little Eddie's face got red and blotchy, when we were concerned he had mucous in his throat and when we just couldn't get the hang of swaddling and couldn't seem to soothe him enough to sleep - typical new parent cluelessness and naivete. But now we are home and are adjusting quite well, as is little Eddie. He hates to have his diaper changed and the piercing cry that accompanies this task makes a mother's heart break, so we often do it in stages - the petroleum jelly covered gauze for the circumcised penis, the dirty diaper change and then the clothes. And Eddie has a tendency to do that typical boy thing where he decides that during the diaper change is the best time to release a powerful spray of urine. So then the process begins all over again. We have had to wash the changing table pad cover twice now and have already done a load of laundry to clean his wet clothes. The process also gets accompanied by some soothing done by me and the nipple, so a feeding usually follows the process. And often along with the feeding comes a release of his prior feeding, meaning, he poops shortly thereafter changing the diaper, so, alas, we must return to the changing table. Thankfully Daddy Eddie is part of the process and willingly shares in the duties as we both struggle to hold back little Eddie's legs as he squirms and try to soothe him as he fuses. I truly believe that God makes new life possible only by the union between a man and woman because it literally takes 4 hands to care for a newborn. I pity and simultaneously admire those women throughout the ages who did not have help from their husbands...and I know there are many of them.

Another parenting topic we are already deeply acquainted with is sleep. When little Eddie was at the hospital he hardly slept during the night. Since we have gotten home, every day gets a little better but in general he dislikes being put down. At the hospital they swore by swaddling - securing the baby in blankets wrapped up like a burrito. But Eddie always seems to kick and squirm his way out, especially his hands, which he loves to play with and stick in his mouth. So we gave up on swaddling and he is much happier. The occasional scratch of the face occurs, but he nor we seems to mind. He likes sleeping in his Moses basket and loves his sling, but other items, such as the bassinet, the bouncy seat and swing are less soothing. And his placement of choice to sleep is on us - on a bare chest - or in our bed between us. So last night we had him in the bed with us exclusively and he slept great, waking up only at midnight and 4 a.m. and then not until 8:30 a.m. Those who are against co-sleeping, I understand your plea, but I will take you on in a debate...there is nothing more natural and sweeter than waking up with your whole family in one place. I especially love smelling my baby's morning breath, a smell akin to almond milk and lilies.

Today we made our first outing, traveling to the Green City Market, a farmer's market that we shop at every Saturday. He loved it! I had him in a sling and he slept the whole time as Grandma Lauer, Daddy Eddie and I shopped for fresh ingredients and enjoyed the warm summer day. It was great to be out and show him off to all of my market friends and farmers. Everyone was so complimentary and thrilled for us. Crazy that just a week ago we were at the market and Eddie was still inside of me and I was almost beginning to think that he would never come. Well, of course, he came...a day early actually...and we are just still in a state of bliss as we watch his every movement with wonderment and soak in the newness of each moment as only new parents can do.

my birth story

Well, as you will see from the last entry on August 17th, I had started to have a slight bloody show early in the day and had been having irregular cramps. The cramp-like feeling progressed in the evening and after dinner I told Eddie that I thought it could be happening - tonight could be a long, sleepless one. I took a shower and lost my mucous plug which really looked more like bloody chunks of skin...watching it wash away down the drain was bittersweet, because I knew it marked the beginning of your arrival. My contractions, which I would still describe as intense menstrual cramps as they were contained in my lower abdomen region, started to get regular around 10 p.m. and were quickly only about 8 minutes apart. At about 1 a.m. they got to be about 5 minutes apart so we called our doula, Peyton. Peyton came to our house and we all tried to sleep, knowing that it could still be days before your arrival, but it was evident that I wasn't going to be able to sleep. We labored at home, using effective breathing techniques, all morning. At about 8 a.m. we decided to take a walk outside and go over to the house of a neighboring midwife, Leslie. Leslie checked my cervix around 9 a.m. and announced that I was 5 cm. dilated and completely effaced. She then swept my membranes to successfully make labor progress. We decided to go to the hospital at 11 a.m. and when I arrived the staff was shocked that I was already at 7 cm. We got to our room and I quickly progressed into transition, or so I think because after 1 set of contractions, I threw up - vomiting is often a sign of transition, the final stage of labor. My position of choice during contractions was bent over onto a ledge (at home, my kitchen counter) and all I wanted was something cold on my neck, lower back and abdomen, but at this point I decided to try out the tub that we had requested be installed in the room. It was a large whirlpool like tub with water of approximately 100 degrees. The water felt great - even better was when Peyton would pour water over me during contractions. Then, they asked if I felt the urge to push and I said I thought I could. Dr. Chen assessed that I was ready and I got into the hospital bed and started to push, which was much more difficult than I thought it would be. But I had a hugely supportive team of my husband, Peyton, Dr. Chen, a studying midwife and the nurse Jaye who were all telling me how good I was doing and how baby was almost here. I also had created a pump-up mix - I had created several mixes to listen to throughout labor, a soothing one, one for active labor, for transition and for pushing. The "push" mix included songs like "Paradise" by the Bodeans, "I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor" by Artic Monkeys and "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. After only 25 minutes - felt more like 45 to me - you came out to "No East Way Out" from the Rocky IV soundtrack...only fitting as Dr. Chen announced that you were a boy and we knew we had Eddie IV! You were brought directly to my chest and we initiated breastfeeding - I was overwhelmed and kept saying, "it feels so surreal." Daddy Eddie felt an unbelievable surge of emotion...he watched the entire process and saw his son enter the world. We both felt this tremendous sense of gratitude to those who had helped us in this process, especially Peyton, and to the hospital staff for respecting our wishes to have a natural birth with no interventions. It was truly amazing that everything went as we had planned and desired - no IV, no drugs, only intermittent fetal heart monitoring which meant I was never hooked up to a machine and was free to roam, and ultimately that Eddie IV arrived healthy. We still feel so blissful, fortunate and grateful for the entire experience...one that we will undoubtedly never forget and will serve as a constant reminder of how truly miraculous and precious life is.

39 weeks

Well we are anxiously awaiting your arrival. Everyone, including us, who thought we were going to go early is surprised. But technically my due date is still a few days away. I have been having some signs of early labor. For the past week or so I have had intense cramps, typically at night from 9 p.m. to midnight. Starting yesterday, I started to feel a tad "off" - sort of flu-like and having to go to the bathroom a lot (as in number 2). This morning as well - have already gone to the bathroom twice and it is only 10 a.m. And I have a slight pinkish discharge, which is a sign of my cervix thinning and ripening. So, you are on your way! We are ready and waiting.

38 weeks

Last night I started feeling like you were dropping, getting lower into my pelvic region, preparring for birth. And I was having some cramp-like feelings, which could be the Braxton-Hicks (practice) contractions that people talk about. Went to the doctor this morning and he said that I have a 50/50 chance that I will be at my next appointment, which is next Monday, meaning that he thinks there's a pretty good chance you will arrive before then! Then I pressed him and said, come on, make it 60/40 and he said that if he had to put money on it, he would bet that I will go into labor sometime this week. Very exciting. Shortly after that I learned that the car seat we have is defective, so they had to order a new one, which will be here by the earliest on Thursday...and since we cannot leave the hospital without a car seat, this may be cutting it quite close. Other than that, we are ready and preparred for your arrival and cannot wait to meet you!