the S word

Sleep. I never realized how becoming a parent would make me so obsessed with this word. I remember a day back in July when my husband and I attended a lecture given by a pediatrician as part of our prenatal education. He spoke about selecting your pediatrician, general health issues and lastly about sleep. He said that 1 in 5 of us expecting parents would have a colicky or extremely fussy baby. And that all of us would wonder about sleep. I was thinking, literally, what is all the fuss about sleep? I mean, I knew that becoming a parent would mean that I would personally get less sleep but I guess I assumed that my baby would want to sleep and that we would simply have to work on transitioning him/her from the co-sleeper bassinet in our room (which I wanted since I knew that breastfeeding throughout the night would be easier if the baby was nearby) to the crib in his/her room. Twelve weeks into the life of Eddie IV and he isn't even sleeping in the bassinet - he is still sleeping with us in our bed - and now I understand why this pediatrician was so adamant about discussing sleep. At the time I didn't realize who he was - Dr. Marc Weissbluth - one of the nation's leading experts on pediatric sleep. I remember going up to him after the lecture and I asked him where I could read more about Circadian rhythms because I found his discussion of it fascinating and he said the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Duh...he wrote the book!...and I have just finished reading it and feel ready to embark on what we call "sleep training."

There are tons of methods out there and various medical professionals and parents who have written books claiming that their solution is the best - whether its the "No Cry" solution, the "Gradual Extinction" method or "Let Cry" solution. Weissbluth's overall theory, which centers on the proven belief that sleep deprivation can lead to a host of problems in a child's temperament and ability to learn, is that sometimes the necessary solution is total "Extinction," which means 2-3 nights of putting your child to bed and letting him/her cry to sleep in order to build appropriate self-soothing skills. But he discusses a variety of techniques and sleep challenges, everything from nap issues to night terrors. He has also done research on the differences between what he calls "extreme fussy/colic" babies and those with normal or common fussiness, and he has shown that the extremely fussy/colicky babies are often very sleep deprived by 4 months of age. But he also recognizes that these babies are the ones who need sleep training the most because they lack proper organization of biological rhythms, which may be due to high levels of serotonin and low levels of melatonin - the high serotonin causes the stomach muscles to contract, making sleep more of a challenge. This seems very likely in little Eddie's case because when he fusses he often writhes in pain and brings his knees to his chest. Within the last week he fussing sounds have changed from an "err err" grunting that sounds like someone trying to get comfortable, to painful moans and high-pitched wails...it breaks your heart because he sounds like he's in so much pain. Anyway, for these babies you kind of do whatever it takes to get them to sleep during their first 3-4 months, which is what we are doing. Sometime between 12-16 weeks is when their melatonin is supposed to increase, aiding them in sleep organization, meaning the ability to take naps at the proper times (first nap around 9 in the morning, then one in the afternoon and sometimes an evening nap) and then fall asleep for nighttime around 6-7:30 p.m. So we have sort of been in a holding pattern deciding when we should intervene and start the official training, or let him cry it out. A few nights ago, after literally trying to soothe Eddie from 6:30 p.m. until he finally fell asleep at 11 p.m., my husband proclaimed, "that's it. We're going to see Dr. Weissbluth."

One of the first steps Weissbluth recommends is creating a sleep log to track patterns of sleep. So I started it today. And then our first step is to try to get little Eddie to go to sleep earlier, like at 6 or 7 instead of having him go to sleep when we go to sleep. This has been the biggest challenge for us because he prefers to sleep on me, as I've stated before. And there is no way I am going to go to bed with him at 6 p.m. (I think the earliest I have clocked in is at 7:45) especially since this is the hour of dinner. The other first step for us is to get Eddie to sleep on a bed, not on me...which we have already started doing and are successful 50% of the time. This past weekend in Wisconsin my mom got him to go down like 100% of the time, which was amazing, so we learned some techniques from her. Right now Eddie is fast asleep, has been since 12:15 (right now it's 2:30)...crazy. He is sleeping on our bed in what they call a "bed crib" which basically means that we build pillows around him so that he doesn't roll and fall off. Once he consistently can sleep this way then we will transition him to his bassinet, and then ultimately to his crib. And then we have to work on allowing him to self-soothe instead of always waiting until he is dead asleep before we put him down. It will be a long process, I think, and I will update you all on the progress of it!